A Challenge: The Artist Way

I've been avoiding this blog of mine for quite some time now. I've got a bad case of writer's block. And photographer's block, and everything-else-block. I've been feeling like I'm in a bit of a rut, like my brain is foggy and clouded over and all I want to do in my spare time is eat cookies and watch Netflix. And, for awhile there, that's exactly what I did.

So, let me back up a bit, here. All the way back to, oh, let's say, Christmastime. We had a grand old trip to Arizona, I got to see Adam everyday, there were people all around to chat with and help out with Axton, I got to go on three runs in a week, I ate good food and jumped on the trampoline and ran around and played like with children. It was awesome. Then, January rolls around and we are back home and Adam's back to work. I'd decided long ago that, starting at the beginning of the year, I was going to switch up our routine with Axton and get him to sleep through the night - and, lo and behold, we were successful! (Yes, moment of grand silence and awe is suggested, here, folks). So now Axton is sleeping 12 hours at night (would you like to know how? I will write about it if you want, because it was quite the long process) --- but I'm not sleeping at all! For weeks, I couldn't fall asleep before midnight. Even when I would try to get myself in bed at a decent hour, I would just lay there, staring at the ceiling, stupidly awake. Finally, I gave in, and just started watching tv shows for hours on end in the evenings, because I assumed I'd be up that late anyway. And then, I'd be up early with Axton in the morning and, because I was exhausted, I would nap when he napped. This meant that a vicious cycle began: I wasn't tired at night because I'd nap during the day, so I went to bed late and got up early, so then I was tired during the day, on and on. This also meant that nothing ever got done - chores, dinner, crafts, writing, projects, goals. My To-Do list kept getting longer and longer and that just stressed me out more so what did I do? Watched more TV to calm me down.

Finally, one night in bed, I lay there, trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and how I could put an end to this boring haze I'd been living in.  I did what any other person would do: I googled "How to get more motivated."

At the top of the results was an article called, "16 Ways to Get Motivated When You're in a Slump." I went to it, wasn't that impressed, but it did lead me to another article: 6 Practical and Powerful Ways to Overcome Depression. Maybe I am depressed, I thought. So I clicked on it and I actually really liked their 6 tips and think everyone could benefit from them, depressed or not. They are -

1) Get outside
2) Exercise
3) Omega-3 Fatty Acids
4) Sleep
5) Socialize
6) Positive thinking

I realized I wasn't doing enough of any of the above things, and decided I would choose number 4 - Get better sleep - to work on first.

But how to do that? For one thing, I knew I needed to stop watching Netflix -

("But I have to find out if April and Andy hook up!" --- "No, Meghan, you don't. What's more important, real life or fiction?" ---- *Sniffle, sniffle* "Fine, can I at least Wikipedia it so I can have closure?" --- "Whatever. You're pathetic.")

I made a few other rules for myself - they included things like turning off the computer an hour before I wanted to be asleep, (this includes no more ipod in bed!) and no napping with Axton during the day (so I'd actually be tired at night). I saw a dramatic difference within the first week. Actually, the very first night I gave myself an hour of downtime (read: no computer) before bed, I fell asleep within minutes after shutting off the light. I couldn't believe it.

And my sleeping pattern slowly started to return to (almost) normal, pre-pregnancy bliss. Of course Axton still wakes up occasionally, but when he does it's nothing compared to what it used to be and it's way less often.

So, I had fixed my sleeping problem, but I'm still feeling very....blah. I'm so uninspired these days, so unmotivated. I have a huge list of blog posts I've been wanting to write but every time I've tried to sit down and write them, I get anxiety and just end up on Pinterest or Facebook. So unproductive. So lame. I think my To Do list is having the opposite effect on me than it was intended: it's scaring me away rather than hyping me up for all the cool things I want to do. I even thought, "Maybe I just need to have another baby right now so I feel busy again." Shame on me! Using a baby to get out of something I'm scared of facing! And then I tried to blame the weather: "It's just a bad case of the winter slumpies. I'll get over it when it's nicer outside." But then I realized I didn't want to wait around for spring to feel better.


As I've pondered how to get my spark back, one thing that's been on my mind lately is Julia Cameron's The Artist Way .  Julia Cameron is a writing teacher who proposes there are two vital tools to reigniting your creativity: 1) The Morning Pages, and 2) Artist Dates. I don't remember where I first learned about her theories (Heather, I think it was you?), but they've stuck with me over the past few years.

1) The Morning Pages -- The morning pages are three pages of handwritten word vomit. You write them every single morning, before you do anything else. They can be about anything - silly, stupid, serious, painful, boring - it doesn't matter, just get it out. Julia says in order to be a better writer (or photographer or cook or blogger or crafter or anything that requires creativity) you need to declog your brain of all the junk and fluff floating around in there. To quote her article:

All that angry, whiny, petty stuff you write down in the morning stands in the way of your creativity. Worrying about the job, the car, the laundry - this stuff eddies through our subconscious and muddies our days. Get it on the page.

2) An Artist Date - As I searched the web for the original article of Julia's, I found someone else's blog who summarized her theory on Artist Dates. She wrote:

You know when you have a really long to-do list, and it feels like there just isn’t enough time? (Yes!)

Or when you run across your art/craft/baking supplies and think “I used to enjoy doing that … but I just can’t get inspired to start it again.” (Yes, yes!)

Or when you start to feel worn down and the world is just seeming gray and routine? (Yes, yes, yes!)

That’s when you need an Artist’s Date with yourself.  

An artist date is a date you take with yourself - alone - no one else - (get it?) once a week. It's meant to be fun and playful, and it's meant to inspire and spark your imagination. You are trying to dig out your inner artist that's been buried under routine and daily life. "Your artist needs to be taken out, pampered, and listened to." An artist date could be a lone trip to the beach, a junk yard, or a botanical garden. It can be a trip to a museum, a fabric store, or watching an old movie by yourself.

Julia says of her two tactics:

Think of this combination of tools in terms of a radio receiver and transmitter.... Doing your morning pages you are sending - notifying yourself and the universe of your dreams, dissatisfactions, hopes. Doing your Artist Date, you are receiving - opening yourself to insight, inspiration, guidance. 

I highly suggest reading Julia's entire article on these two theories, it's fascinating stuff. You can find it here.

I've decided I'm going to take her challenge for a month. Starting tomorrow (tomorrow? Really? Ugh, okay, fine. Tomorrow it is) I will write my Morning Pages every morning and I will also take a weekly artist date by myself.

Does anybody else want to join my in this challenge? Any one else ever feel uninspired or stuck?  What do you Moms do to find yourself again, away from the Mother Identity? What do you non-Moms do to get your wheels turning again?









ps - Jeanna, I'm counting this as my 50 words. Don't hate me. ;)

La Mariée Future

Ever since we returned from our Christmas vacation this last January, I have been working hard on an enormous project. I couldn't write or post pictures, because it was supposed to be a secret. Well, now it's all over and done with and I can finally tell you what I've been up to with all my free time the last three months!

Heather and I met in 7th grade, when we both moved to the little town of Shelley, Idaho. I treasure Heather because she is the first person I'd ever met who really challenged me - intellectually and spiritually. My first memory of her was when we were taking tests for the Gifted and Talented program in middle school - she finished her tests before me. She got up, handed in those tests, and walked out the door. All while I was still working on mine. Wait....what? She did --- what? She finished ..... GASP! Who was this girl?

Soon after I asked her to eat lunch with me, and we became inseparable after that. She was a "good" girl - and I....well, I had just been yanked 1200 miles away from my childhood home and best friends - not to mention my father -- and I still had a lot of learning and growing up to do. We weren't active in Church then, I didn't care to be active in the church, and I was missing a solid male figure in my life (not an excuse, just the truth). Heather didn't judge me when I hung out with the wrong crowd, took up swearing, and even pierced my belly button (you can tell in these pictures, in case you're wondering). In fact, she did the opposite - she clung tighter to me. She, in all honesty, saved me. It is because of her I came back to church, took out that belly button ring, stopped swearing, cut ties with my "bad" friends, and gained a testimony of my own - after leaning so long on hers. We would write endless notes and fill journal after journal, passing it back and forth between each other. I read through one of those journals a few weeks ago. I never realized until then - just a few short weeks ago - how selfish and ignorant I was. What a terrible friend I was. And she only gave me love. Years later, her 14 year old self is still teaching me lessons. Does that paint a clear enough picture of how wise she is now?
We have been through our good times and bad, Heather and I, our thicks and our thins. But always, we come out stronger.

Now, this sweet lady is getting married. He is a lucky man, I tell ya.
And because our lives somehow brought us both to the East Coast, I had the pleasure of throwing her a Bridal Shower. Keep in mind, I am an English major throwing a party for an Event Planning major. The pressure was on.

With the long-distance help of her other bridesmaid, and my other best friend, Robyn, I decided to make the party French-themed, as all three of us had taken French together in high school, and Heather and I had spent a week in France just one year ago (read about that here, here, and here.)

First, the invitations:

which were then sealed in pink envelopes and stamped with the HOMEMADE Eiffel Tower stamp that my husband HAND-CARVED out of a pink eraser. He is awesome.

Then, the welcome table:

Hand-painted welcome sign, homemade tissue paper flowers (which I made while watching countless episodes of Friends), a schedule of events, name tags, and 12 homemade berets for everyone to wear (at least for the group photo!)

The gift table:

Digital photo frame playing over 100 photos of Heather I creepily snuck off of Facebook, a cute, hand-decorated jar to hold a Wish for the Bride, more tissue paper flowers, and a cute poster made with paint, cardboard, Mime scrapbook paper, and Modpodge.

The Food Table:

Vintage-edited photos I took in Paris on twine, hand-painted Cafe-cup menu sign, scrapbook paper poster, 35 homemade crepes, powdered sugar, chocolate and caramel syrup, Nutella, whip cream, strawberries, bananas, berries, raspberry jam, croissants, ham, cheese, butter, cream puffs, oranges, grapes, 3 gallons homemade strawberry lemonade -- not to mention the adorable banner lining the table (also made with hours of Friends in the background). Plus! I read tons of articles and books on the art of Macaron-making and had one practice session -- and I produced a beautiful batch of Homemade chocolate macarons (though I hesitate to mention the failed batch of raspberry macarons I left at home. aaaand the fact that the chocolate ones got smashed on the way down....but they still tasted great, even if they looked ugly!). Complete with hand-painted French labels for everything!

The Games:

Then we played some silly games with silly prizes, of course. I had a He said/She said game with different things Heather and her fiance had said on Facebook, and everyone had to guess who said what. That was another nasty bout of Facebook stalking, but it was pretty funny. 

The next game required me to get some answers from the Groom, so I set up a time to Skype with him (since he lives in England, and all). Heather had to guess how he answered my questions, and had to put a marshmallow in her mouth for every wrong answer. 

Last, what else but a game including blindfolds, an extra-large pair of panties, and a little too much intimacy?

:

And of course, the gift-opening (which I will spare you the details and Heather the embarrassment):

Finally, the Departure Table, which I did not get a picture of:

Hand-painted Au-Revoir sign, more tissue paper flowers, my favorite homemade poster of all, and a homemade gift bag for every girl that contained a mini-canvas print and a homemade necklace. 

This was my first time ever planning a party quite like this. It was tons and tons of work and time and planning and money, but it was lots of fun and I'd say a success! 

And I have to give a shout-out to my husband, for all his help with everything too. He even drove down to DC with me, helped me unload everything from the car, set up, and then just cruised around DC for two hours while us girls partied. He was so patient and helpful and I really could not have done it without him (two days straight of cooking and baking and last-minute preparing + already sore and swollen feet + a ginormous belly and 40 extra pounds = one tired mama). I love these photos he took while waiting for me:

Baby Stuff (What else?)

Item of Business Number One

I'm 23 weeks today ---

And because *someone* said I need to stop posting cute pregnant pictures and take a just-rolled-out-of-bed-no-make-up-or-hair-done picture instead.....

I did just that.
I'm still so tired that I don't even want to smile.
Ah, Adam. What a lucky man. pshhh.... 


Is that better? :)

How far along? 23 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 18 pounds

Maternity clothes? I don't have too many maternity clothes, actually. So I'm making do with what I have, sporting the Belly Band, and wearing sweats. 

Stretch marks? No, I don't have stretch "marks," but I've been having stretch "pains" - If I sit down and slouch for too long, I feel my stomach just pulling on itself, and it feels so heavy and tight.

Sleep: I've been trying not to sleep quite as much as I did during the first trimester (which was like, 11 hours a night), so now I make sure I am out of bed before 8:30. Some mornings that is harder than other days.

Best moment this week: Adam felt Baby Boy move. It was about 6 in the morning, and we were snuggling before he had to get up and get ready for work. I said, "Give me your hand." And I put it on my belly and Baby shifted just then. Adam gave a Surprised "Huh!" So cool.

Miss Anything? I was looking at a pair of undies I used to fit in, but have since put into the bottom drawer until they fit again. They looked soooo small to me. If ever I get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, I will never again call myself fat or big.

Movement: Yes! And I'm starting to know when to predict it, too. Afternoons, from noon to three are busy times, usually.

Food cravings: Milk and cereal.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not more than normal.

Have you started to show yet:  Yes. It's so fun.

Gender: BOY BOY BOY

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? It's still at that halfway-in-between point, but what has happened, is this: Because my belly is stretching out, the top lip of my belly button kind of ridges out, which makes it look like my belly button is outie, though it's definitely not. I want to tell people that who point it out, but they just wouldn't understand. So I just go along with it.

Wedding rings on or off? On. 

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking forward to: My next ultrasound to see how much he's grown. Starting birthing classes. Switching to a midwife! 

Item of Business Number Two


I've been eyeing this old shirt of Adam's for awhile now. I love the stripes, but it doesn't fit him anymore, and it looked pretty nasty on me.

So, I decided to fix it up. I took out the collar, shorted (what?) cut the sleeves, and added side-ruching (because a maternity shirt isn't maternity without the ruche, right?)

I used this tutorial to guide me, and here's how it turned out:

And then I got my pretty pregnant picture, after all :)

I love my new shirt!

Item of Business Number Three


I made a baby registry.

I wasn't going to. In fact, I was kind of against baby registries for awhile. But then my Dad said he wanted to buy me something for the baby, and that I should let him know. I didn't want to just say, "Here, get me this. The most expensive item we need." So I thought I would just send him a few links to different things I needed, all in different price ranges, so he could choose what he wanted to get me. And then I thought "Well if my daddy-o wants to get Baby something, maybe other members of my family do, too? Or friends? Who knows who wants to get The Cutest Baby That Will Ever Be Born something?"

So I concluded a baby registry would be the most organized, simple, and non-confrontational way of doing things. Plus, it was fun. Tons and tons of work, though, too. I researched EVERYTHING - to the core and more - and it took me three days to finish.

Plus, if no one gets me anything, I'll still be happy. Because then I know exactly what I need to get baby, and it will be easy-peezy.

You want to see it, don't you? Ok I'll let you.
I didn't add many clothes because I know I have some hand-me-down stuffs coming soon, and I will decide from there what more I need.
Anywho, check it out. Just because baby stuff is cute.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/registry.html?ie=UTF8&type=baby&id=3VML8F3EXZJUD

Clickety-click!