A Challenge: The Artist Way

I've been avoiding this blog of mine for quite some time now. I've got a bad case of writer's block. And photographer's block, and everything-else-block. I've been feeling like I'm in a bit of a rut, like my brain is foggy and clouded over and all I want to do in my spare time is eat cookies and watch Netflix. And, for awhile there, that's exactly what I did.

So, let me back up a bit, here. All the way back to, oh, let's say, Christmastime. We had a grand old trip to Arizona, I got to see Adam everyday, there were people all around to chat with and help out with Axton, I got to go on three runs in a week, I ate good food and jumped on the trampoline and ran around and played like with children. It was awesome. Then, January rolls around and we are back home and Adam's back to work. I'd decided long ago that, starting at the beginning of the year, I was going to switch up our routine with Axton and get him to sleep through the night - and, lo and behold, we were successful! (Yes, moment of grand silence and awe is suggested, here, folks). So now Axton is sleeping 12 hours at night (would you like to know how? I will write about it if you want, because it was quite the long process) --- but I'm not sleeping at all! For weeks, I couldn't fall asleep before midnight. Even when I would try to get myself in bed at a decent hour, I would just lay there, staring at the ceiling, stupidly awake. Finally, I gave in, and just started watching tv shows for hours on end in the evenings, because I assumed I'd be up that late anyway. And then, I'd be up early with Axton in the morning and, because I was exhausted, I would nap when he napped. This meant that a vicious cycle began: I wasn't tired at night because I'd nap during the day, so I went to bed late and got up early, so then I was tired during the day, on and on. This also meant that nothing ever got done - chores, dinner, crafts, writing, projects, goals. My To-Do list kept getting longer and longer and that just stressed me out more so what did I do? Watched more TV to calm me down.

Finally, one night in bed, I lay there, trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and how I could put an end to this boring haze I'd been living in.  I did what any other person would do: I googled "How to get more motivated."

At the top of the results was an article called, "16 Ways to Get Motivated When You're in a Slump." I went to it, wasn't that impressed, but it did lead me to another article: 6 Practical and Powerful Ways to Overcome Depression. Maybe I am depressed, I thought. So I clicked on it and I actually really liked their 6 tips and think everyone could benefit from them, depressed or not. They are -

1) Get outside
2) Exercise
3) Omega-3 Fatty Acids
4) Sleep
5) Socialize
6) Positive thinking

I realized I wasn't doing enough of any of the above things, and decided I would choose number 4 - Get better sleep - to work on first.

But how to do that? For one thing, I knew I needed to stop watching Netflix -

("But I have to find out if April and Andy hook up!" --- "No, Meghan, you don't. What's more important, real life or fiction?" ---- *Sniffle, sniffle* "Fine, can I at least Wikipedia it so I can have closure?" --- "Whatever. You're pathetic.")

I made a few other rules for myself - they included things like turning off the computer an hour before I wanted to be asleep, (this includes no more ipod in bed!) and no napping with Axton during the day (so I'd actually be tired at night). I saw a dramatic difference within the first week. Actually, the very first night I gave myself an hour of downtime (read: no computer) before bed, I fell asleep within minutes after shutting off the light. I couldn't believe it.

And my sleeping pattern slowly started to return to (almost) normal, pre-pregnancy bliss. Of course Axton still wakes up occasionally, but when he does it's nothing compared to what it used to be and it's way less often.

So, I had fixed my sleeping problem, but I'm still feeling very....blah. I'm so uninspired these days, so unmotivated. I have a huge list of blog posts I've been wanting to write but every time I've tried to sit down and write them, I get anxiety and just end up on Pinterest or Facebook. So unproductive. So lame. I think my To Do list is having the opposite effect on me than it was intended: it's scaring me away rather than hyping me up for all the cool things I want to do. I even thought, "Maybe I just need to have another baby right now so I feel busy again." Shame on me! Using a baby to get out of something I'm scared of facing! And then I tried to blame the weather: "It's just a bad case of the winter slumpies. I'll get over it when it's nicer outside." But then I realized I didn't want to wait around for spring to feel better.


As I've pondered how to get my spark back, one thing that's been on my mind lately is Julia Cameron's The Artist Way .  Julia Cameron is a writing teacher who proposes there are two vital tools to reigniting your creativity: 1) The Morning Pages, and 2) Artist Dates. I don't remember where I first learned about her theories (Heather, I think it was you?), but they've stuck with me over the past few years.

1) The Morning Pages -- The morning pages are three pages of handwritten word vomit. You write them every single morning, before you do anything else. They can be about anything - silly, stupid, serious, painful, boring - it doesn't matter, just get it out. Julia says in order to be a better writer (or photographer or cook or blogger or crafter or anything that requires creativity) you need to declog your brain of all the junk and fluff floating around in there. To quote her article:

All that angry, whiny, petty stuff you write down in the morning stands in the way of your creativity. Worrying about the job, the car, the laundry - this stuff eddies through our subconscious and muddies our days. Get it on the page.

2) An Artist Date - As I searched the web for the original article of Julia's, I found someone else's blog who summarized her theory on Artist Dates. She wrote:

You know when you have a really long to-do list, and it feels like there just isn’t enough time? (Yes!)

Or when you run across your art/craft/baking supplies and think “I used to enjoy doing that … but I just can’t get inspired to start it again.” (Yes, yes!)

Or when you start to feel worn down and the world is just seeming gray and routine? (Yes, yes, yes!)

That’s when you need an Artist’s Date with yourself.  

An artist date is a date you take with yourself - alone - no one else - (get it?) once a week. It's meant to be fun and playful, and it's meant to inspire and spark your imagination. You are trying to dig out your inner artist that's been buried under routine and daily life. "Your artist needs to be taken out, pampered, and listened to." An artist date could be a lone trip to the beach, a junk yard, or a botanical garden. It can be a trip to a museum, a fabric store, or watching an old movie by yourself.

Julia says of her two tactics:

Think of this combination of tools in terms of a radio receiver and transmitter.... Doing your morning pages you are sending - notifying yourself and the universe of your dreams, dissatisfactions, hopes. Doing your Artist Date, you are receiving - opening yourself to insight, inspiration, guidance. 

I highly suggest reading Julia's entire article on these two theories, it's fascinating stuff. You can find it here.

I've decided I'm going to take her challenge for a month. Starting tomorrow (tomorrow? Really? Ugh, okay, fine. Tomorrow it is) I will write my Morning Pages every morning and I will also take a weekly artist date by myself.

Does anybody else want to join my in this challenge? Any one else ever feel uninspired or stuck?  What do you Moms do to find yourself again, away from the Mother Identity? What do you non-Moms do to get your wheels turning again?









ps - Jeanna, I'm counting this as my 50 words. Don't hate me. ;)