Happy Birthday to the Man of My Dreams!

My husband turns 26 years old today.

Birthdays are kind of a big deal to me - I love to be spoiled on mine, and I love to spoil on others'. But Adam is a pretty chill guy and when I try to figure out what he would want or do for his birthday, he is content with a small cake at home with just him and I and minimal presents. We were talking the other day about the best way to celebrate a birthday and Adam said, "Birthdays are a time to celebrate a person's life, their having been born, not to spoil them."

And so I got to thinking. How do I honor the day that my husband was born? How do I thank God for not only giving Adam a body (and a nice one, at that) and a chance to come to earth, but also for somehow allowing our two seemingly separate and distant lives to collide in such a way that we would meet and fall in love and decide to spend not just the rest of our lives together, but the rest of eternity? 


How do I say thank you to Adam for asking me to be His Wife? For accepting and loving and honoring me?

How do I say "I'm glad you're alive and mine and the father of my son and today is special because 26 years ago you were born and then you lived and grew and learned and developed and then we met and my whole world changed,"?

I don't know how to do it.

Adam is an amazing man.

He was born into such a beautiful, loving family. He very much honors his mother and father. He cherishes their opinions and shows gratitude to them for having raised him in such a wonderful environment. He looks back on his childhood with fondness.

He is close to his siblings - they are some of his best friends. This was tough competition for me when we first started dating!

Not only do they love him tremendously, but his ginormous heart is filled with just as much love for them in return. He is a fantastic Uncle, and I knew right away he would make such a great father. 

He is just as loyal to his friends as he is his family. Ben and him are tight, and we both think of Ben as another brother. 

He served an honorable mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

He sacrificed two years of his life in the service of the Lord, pushing himself beyond his comfort level and limits. He taught and preached what he knows in his heart to be true, and was brave enough to open his mouth and share it with the world. 

Adam kept his body and mind pure and worthy to be married in the temple of the Lord. 

This means he is moral, he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, and doesn't swear, and overall he is a Christ-like person. He is an incredibly good example to me of someone who is committed. 

He is such a great husband. I have especially learned this as I have gotten more and more pregnant the last 7 months. He rubs my feet and back and arms and lets the dog out so I don't have to and makes me dinner. He tells me I don't need make up and that my growing belly is beautiful and that he can't wait to become a dad.

Adam has many talents. One of them is his artistic abilities. He has an eye for design and color, and I am always asking him for advice with my photos and graphic designs. 

He is also a wonderful singer and actor. He was in many plays throughout college and I always loved watching him perform. He absolutely knows how to capture an entire audience and make them laugh and love him.

Adam is an incredibly hard worker. Physically, he has worked construction on several homes. He wakes up every morning, earlier than I ever thought I would see him rise!, and goes to work in an environment where he is constantly learning new things. Mentally, he is always coming up with bigger and better ways of doing things, and he sets out to accomplish them right away. He graduated from college with a degree in Information Technology and minors in Computer Science and Information Systems. Spiritually, he is the Young Men's president in our ward and he puts so much time and effort and wisdom in leading them. 

Lastly, Adam knows how to have fun. I laugh daily with him. We dance in the kitchen and sing in the shower and use funny accents and tickle and tease and play and are weird and silly

 -- and we do this every.day. 

So, knowing all that about him, and knowing how full my heart is with love towards him and gratitude for being blessed with him as my husband, I am left with inadequate ways of saying 

Happy Birthday,

and

Thank you

But at least I have the rest of eternity to keep trying.

I love you Adam.

My one and only.

My hero.

My husband.

Lucky 13

Here's me at 13 weeks.

Remember that?

Yeah that was fun.

Here's me (just over) 13 weeks later, with (just over) 13 weeks left to go.

.....and a side-by-side comparison for your viewing pleasure.

Same shirt, bigger belly, and Relief Society arms.

How far along? Almost 27 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: 22.5 pounds. That means I weighed in at 159 last appointment. 

Maternity clothes? Someone super special and super sweet sent me some money to buy 

some maternity clothes. It was awesome. I'm not sure I would have given in and bought them for myself, but I really needed it. I bought two super cute Target pants that I've been living in lately.

Stretch marks? I think so. But they kind of come and go? They are still small and pink so it's hard to tell if they are really a stretch mark or just scratch marks.

Sleep: Screw getting up before 8:30. I'm back to sleeping in as late as I want, especially when I'm waking up to pee every night.

Best moment this week: Feeling him move a LOT more. My Primary Presidency telling me they want to throw me a baby shower! So excited! Decorating the nursery. Getting our carseat and stroller delivered today.

Miss Anything? Being lighter. Less back pain.

Movement: Tons

Food cravings: We go through about 2 gallons of milk a week. Milk and cereal, baby.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not more than normal.

Have you started to show yet:  Yes. Yes, I have.

Gender: Boy. And we're pretty sure we have a name picked out too :)

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? Still at that halfway point.

Wedding rings on or off? On. Usually. Sometimes in the morning my fingers will be swollen and I'll take my rings off for awhile, but they go back down to normal by the afternoon.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. But sometimes emotional (as evidenced by my last post). Sometimes I just get into funks, too, where I'm not even sure how I feel. 

Looking forward to: Starting birthing class. My next ultrasound. My birthday :)

Someone else super special and generous sent us this, and it arrived today. We are soo grateful and so blessed. I was so excited, I put it all together myself - it's so tiny and cute and green and it's going to carry around my sweet little cuddles! 

This article made me feel a bit better today:

http://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/116191/10_best_comebacks_to_stupid

And, last but not least:

 How cute is this?? Just add little baby boy and my life is complete <3

ps I knew I'd make him a dog lover

An End of 2nd Trimester Rant

In 3 days I will have finished my 2nd trimester. And for the past few weeks, I have been feeling a slight decline in my energy levels and quite the increase in my moodiness levels. Especially when those old ladies at church just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

Like yesterday - I got asked again if I was carrying twins. "No. I'm not." And the lady next to her: "And you're even tall." As if THAT'S supposed to help???

"Not tall enough, I guess..." I responded sharply.

I was ok up to that point, really I was, but this next one really got to me. It's all lovey-dovey, pat-pat, "how ya doin' sweetie?" Until the dreaded question:
"So when's this baby coming?"

"May."

"May?!?! You look like you're DUE!"


My mouth literally droooooopppppeeedd in her face. Right in her face, there were my tonsils and teeth and tongue and heck, probably my stomach - but she was oblivious. "I guess I'll stop asking - you've got a LONG way to go still."
(And this is when I wish I could be like my friend Collette and tell her what I honestly think of a comment like that rather than just politely laughing when I don't find it funny at all.)

Yes. Thank you. Please DO stop asking. You and the rest of them who must have forgotten what it feels like to be pregnant because it's just been to dang long for you all.

And then I get all cranky and go deep into my thoughts and I cry for my present "woes" (yes, I realize how pathetic I sound).
I will never ever ever be the same Meghan again.
Good bye to the Meghan in college, Good bye to the Meghan I've spent the last 22 years becoming because it's alll going to change in 3 short measly little months.

Will I ever not feel tired again for the rest of my life?

I am ending a significant phase right now - everything I have ever known about what it means to be me is ending. It's the closing of an entire book of my life, not just a chapter. And, sometimes, just for a moment, it's kind of sad to realize that. And sometimes, like yesterday after church, I think to myself : "I really don't like being pregnant." NOT that I don't like or want to have this baby in me, because I know that's what it sounds like, but that pregnancy is not so fun sometimes. See the differenJce?
Gasp! Terrible, I know.
But seriously, that first trimester? Yeah, it totally sucked. And I wasn't even that sick. But it was icky. For three months straight. And then, sure, I got a perky 8 weeks in there, and boy did I enjoy them, but now I'm just back to being sore every morning I wake up - like I ran a marathon in my sleep or something! -  and getting chided by strangers who feel they know how my body should be looking right now, and being tired and lacking motivation.

And then other times I go even deeper into this emotional brain of mine, and I cry for the pains I know will come in the future:
My heart will never be the same again. It will be ripped out of my chest, torn into several different pieces, and thumb-tacked onto the forehead of each of my children. It will be stretched to its limit, and it will beat stronger with every kiss and hug and smile - but it will never go back into this body. It will always be walking around with my children, from here on out. I realize that. And sometimes I look around me when I'm in public, and I see all these people out there, just living their own lives. And I wonder how often they think of their mothers? Are they close to them? Do they miss them? Do they love them? Most likely their mothers were just like I am now -- totally in love with the little human dancing in them, reveling in each and every movement, altering their entire lives for the well-being of their baby. But I realize as I look at all these strangers - and even myself- that this baby is not mine to keep. He will not always need me the way he does now. He might even hate me during his teenage years and then I'll be replaced with a wife and that will just be life and I'll be happy for him but sometimes I already get sad thinking about it. And all I can do is cross my fingers and pray he will still kiss me when he sees me - no matter how old he or I get. 

.....I know. I know. There are women who would give anything to be in my place right now. And I know how very blessed I am to be carrying this baby, and if I could give every willing woman the desire of her heart to carry their own, too, I would. I definitely would. Because that's not even what this about. I would stay pregnant forever if it meant having this baby. Because it's a privilege and it's special --- but it's also hard. And I think I am allowed to have and share these feelings without getting bombarded with talk of ingratitude or selfishness.

And yes, I will wrap up this rant with my revelation - to end on a good note, the one that keeps me going through it all, the one that wanted me to be in this situation in the first place.

Sometimes, when it's late at night and I'm trying to wedge a pillow under my belly so it won't rip off my back in the middle of the night, and I'm still appalled at the things people think they can get away with, I feel a heavy kick in my stomach. And I stop what I'm doing and put my hand on my belly. And he kicks again - "Hey Mom, don't worry bout them fools. It's just you and me, baby. That's all that matters."
And I hear a voice in my head:
It was never about them anyway.


It never was, and it never will be, about anyone else but me, this baby boy, and the man that helped me create him. And when I stop and feel and listen for that, I always get a smile on my face and the rest of the world around me silences down to a pin drop, and I can almost hear the thundering of this baby's heartbeat tuning everything else out. And he responds to my peace with a few more nudges, letting me know he's in there --

And he's worth it.

For now, he is mine - ours - our son. And that more than makes up for any of these silly little pregnancy heartaches I get.

Soccer Balls

So, pretty much ever since about 13 weeks, I've felt the need to explain to people while I'm showing "so" much "already." That need to explain seemed to quadruple yesterday when the old lady at church asked me, after finding out I still had 3 1/2 more months to go, if I was expecting twins. 

"Um...nope.....just one....." I said, and then added stupidly, "I'm just a hearty eater!" while swinging my arm in front of me hick-style. Yeah. Good one.

Sometimes I say it's because I'm having a boy and they tend to sit out front while girls spread out wide. Or I'll say, "Sorry that's actually not the baby you're seeing. That's the 12 malted milk balls I just ate." 

But I think my mom just gave me the best explanation. She's been reading one of those week-by-week books so she can follow along with my pregnancy from 2100 miles away, and today I got a text from her that said, 

"Your uterus is the size of a soccer ball and the average weight gain for 25 weeks is 16-22 pounds. No wonder you're showing so much!"

Ah yes, that's what I should have said to the old lady yesterday, "Nope, not twins. It's just that my uterus is the size of a freaking soccer ball. No need to worry, missy."

via

Trust me, people, I am probably a lot more aware of how big I am than you are. I've already got the "turtle on its back" syndrome to deal with every time I try to get out of bed. But, the wonderful thing of it all, is that it's actually quite beautiful, this big belly of mine. The highway of blue veins weaving across my taut skin, the roundness rising from my hip bones. I kinda like it --

but more than that,

I love what it means.