The photoshoot we didn't win

About a month ago I entered Axton's photo into a contest sponsored by a local mothers' magazine (and I'd be surprised if many of you didn't already know this, considering how much I plastered it all over Facebook). The editor and owner of the magazine was the lady we took our Hypnobirthing classes from, so I thought I might as well give it a shot. The winner of the photo contest would receive a Rolly Pollies Play something-or-other party, a photoshoot with a local photographer, and their picture on the cover of the magazine. I was mostly just excited for the chance to win a photoshoot, as we have minimal shots of us together as a family (at least not ones that are...you know...cute or anything like that).

So I posted my picture on her site, and asked a few people here and there to vote for his picture. The more people who liked it, the more excited I got. Maybe we actually would have a chance of winning.....so I posted it on family's walls, church group walls, and my photography page. A few weeks went by, la dee da, I checked it once in awhile and occasionally people would ask me about it. We would flutter between first and third place. I was already really pleased with how many friends were supporting us, so I decided to do a giveaway as a way to thank them. This also helped boost our numbers. As more likes came, so did more comments. People I didn't even know were telling me they hoped he won and good luck! Winning this contest quickly became more than just a free photoshoot - it was now something I owed to those who were rooting for him. It was now a matter of pride.

Well the last day to vote finally came around. In the morning, we were in first place. And I may have been just a wee bit too confident at that point, because I just went about my day as usual. I thought I should maybe check on things around 7pm.....Gasp! I was not in first or even second place anymore! I was in third place, and down by forty whole likes! So I posted on my wall, telling the world of FB I needed help!

And then the crazy broke loose.

Boy did I ever get those forty likes.......and much, much more. I got those forty likes and we were back in first place, but not for long. By 9pm I knew I wouldn't be going to bed until the end of the night was over. I needed to put my game face on. It was Axton and another little girl's photo who were fighting for first place for awhile. But then, out of nowhere, tractor boy comes hauling in with the big votes. We were getting serious now.

I started texting people, calling people, messaging people. I had a team of me, Robyn, Sadie, and Rachel. We were all, quite simply, addicted to making sure little Axton won. Rachel would IM me, "What's the stats?" and Sadie would keep me updated. Robyn started all-caps-ing: DON'T LIKE THE LINK, LIKE HIS PHOTO. YOU COULD BE THE DIFFERENCE!!! Rachel had her brother gather high school friends, Robyn had her college friends, and Sadie faithfully posted Axton's photo at least every hour. The four of us were nuts! I had absolutely no clue what I had gotten myself into. I was sweating and my heart was racing and I was giggling like a mad man! Every once in awhile Adam would look over at me and just think I was a weirdo. I would be sent into a laughing fit, my hands covering my mouth, with every 10 likes. In the course of the next 3 hours, I got over three hundred likes - one hundred likes an hour! I could not believe my eyes.

At one point I was pretty sure we were going to win. Sadie and I began to calm down a little, and we were just nonchalantly chatting about life. I had even started to read a page or two out of my book (to give my eyes a break!) in between checking the stats. Then, suddenly, impossibly, tractor boy was winning by ONE HUNDRED LIKES. Do you understand how incredibly intense this was getting people?????

I started saying, "I don't know how we are going to do this. What else do I do?" I ONLY KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK! I ONLY KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD!!!! I went psycho. I started messaging WHOEVER was on fb, whether I had talked to them in years or not. I started even sending messages to people whose phones were connected to fb, so they would get an irritating and irrational text from me: VOTE FOR AXTON AND LIKE AND SHARE AND LIKE AND SHARE!!!
I was saying things like: Hey, this is totally random, and I know we haven't talked since high school - in fact, I'm not even sure we talked then, either, but I think you're a pretty cool kid so, hey, would you mind voting for my son's photo?
Yep, I really said that.
And then other times I'd feel bad asking for a favor from someone I hadn't otherwise talked to in a really long time so I'd add, Oh, and how are you anyway? And then that would begin a conversation. So I had about 10 windows up, trying to juggle re-connecting with long-lost friends, getting likes, and checking the stats. I was typing about 100 words a second it felt like. I was typing like my life depended on it! Any interruption was one less like, one less click, one less vote.


....I know it sounds silly.

and really, it was silly. I know that. And that's why I was having an absolute blast with it. When I say I was laughing the whole time, I mean it. I was laughing and giddy and a little loopy and running purely on adrenaline.

And, at 11:55pm, five minutes before showdown, we were winning by 9 likes. I knew our win was such a delicate balancing act, and I had no idea which way the contest was gong to teeter.

At 11:59 Tractor Boy pulled a stunning and almost unbelievable 20 likes in a matter of seconds.

That was the end. The clock struck midnight and we had lost. It really came down to that. Seconds.

I'll admit, I was a little crushed at first. Not really mad (okay, just a little), but mostly sad. I was sad that our hard work had gone to waste. I was sad that all those votes we had magically conjured up vanished into thin air in the blink of an eye. I was sad I would not be showing off my son on the cover of a magazine! And I was sad that the child who won was someone who already did a lot of photoshoots and modeling apparently (yes I may have done a bit of facebook stalking....) and I just wanted to say, "Hey, why don't you let someone else have a turn?" And I didn't like that the mom had lied and said she was going to bed and didn't care who won, and then later admitted she hadn't gone to bed, but had instead employed her "backup group" to help push them over the edge.

.....Alright, now I was being really silly.

So at about 12:30am, I went to my closet (because, remember, that's where my son sleeps now), and I leaned over his crib and stared at him. My adrenaline was starting to fade, and the sleepiness was beginning to creep in. When I saw his face - his real flesh and felt his warm skin, I was a little shocked. I had been staring at his picture - the same, unchanging, frozen-in-time face - on the computer screen for the last three hours. And yet, here he was in real life. Alive and breathing and older than he was in the photo....He was stunning. He was absolutely beautiful. He had no idea that his photo had just lost a contest. In the morning, he would not feel disappointment. He would just be smiling and happy to see me.  I felt overwhelming relief and joy and gratitude just pour over my whole body. I didn't need 30 likes or 500 likes or 999 gazillion million trillion likes to tell me that my son was cute and deserved to win.

I knew then that I had already won.