I have no self control.

That's right.

I have 

NO

SELF

CONTROL.

I will be the first to admit it. 

I've learned that its better to go ALL out or don't go at all.

For example, when I'm feeling especially fat and junk food-y, I absolutely cannot tell myself

Hey, why don't you cut down a little? You know, everything in moderation?

I would not be successful.

BUT when I tell myself NO SWEETS FOR A MONTH.

NOTHING even RESEMBLING chocolate goes into this mouth for a month!

For some reason, I do a lot better. And if I'm not on a strict sugar-free month, 

then I go ape all over the sweets,

eating ice cream at least once a day

and accepting any and all snacks kids bring to every single one of my classes.

*Before continuing on, I want everyone to know that I mean no offense. These were only my personal feelings and what I needed to do for me. I have nothing against those of you who use Facebook and yes, I do see the positive uses of it. 

Welllll....

the same was with Facebook. 

And so, 

what do you think I did?

Yep. I deleted my account.

I don't know quite yet how I did it because about a month ago there was a Facebook group set up for deleting their FB account on January 1st (Yes, I see the immense irony in that)

and I was like, No way Jose! 

But I think something clicked when I read that.

That yes, in fact I could still lead a happy and normal life without it. 

My thoughts to myself consisted of such things as:

You mean I don't need to know every high school peer who got engaged and see every single one of their engagement, bridal, and wedding photos?

....I don't need someone to comment on my every photo that I posted to make it a good shot, a cute couple, or a funny story?

Everybody doesn't need to know what my "status" is every second of my life?

I was realizing how much of my self esteem I was placing on that silly application.

I didn't like that, I didn't like what it was making me become. 

I knew it was getting bad when every time I did something cool or exciting, my first thought would be,

Oh I need to put pictures of this on Facebook!

or I need to change my status!

When it should have been something else, like, 

...I don't know. How fortunate I was to experience it, or how blessed I was.

I guess I mean,

my first thoughts shouldn't have been gloating or boasting 

(I may have tried to combine those words...and came up with bloating. Though I have been doing that lately, too. But for reasons entirely separate from Facebook)

But should have been gratitude. Or appreciation. Not seeking approval from the rest of the world.

Like I said above, I hope no one is offended. It was a person decision, and I of course don't hate or judge or whatever anyone who has Facebook, because obviously it is not an evil thing on its own,

but it was turning into an evil distraction for me.

And I felt the need to put a stop to it.

I kept picturing myself 3 years from now, knowing if I didn't change my habits now they wouldn't be changed on their own when I become a mom.

I worried I would care more about putting my status as 

Pregnant!

Its is boy/girl!

She's so cute!

And posting photos of my baby, that it would take away from the actual experience and my child. That the business of being a mother would force me to cut time out of other areas just so I could update the Facebook world.

I figured the people who mattered most would manifest themselves, and I wouldn't end up missing Facebook all that much anyway.

....And though its only been a week,

I've already learned a few things.

About friends, my time, myself, my wants and my needs.