I am suffocating a little.
Mentally, I didn't think I was.
I thought I was doing just fine.
But lately, my body has been telling me otherwise.
I cannot seem to ever get enough air into my lungs.
I am constantly catching up with myself.
Skipping a heart beat,
checking my pulse and reminding myself that
No, I did not actually just run a marathon
Though I could have sworn I did.
There is a burning in my chest that travels up to my throat,
accompanied with a dizzy head,
and a hot, busy, anxious heart.
I have never been more aware of my breathing,
or lack thereof.
Its just a little
anxiety
I know.
I know it is natural, normal, considering all the changes that are coming in the next 10 weeks,
and also considering the load I put on myself
to get there so fast.
I also know that because it is not affecting my daily life-
I am still pushing forward-
it is not dangerously interfering.
and yet....
I could use some help.
I don't know how many read my blog or how often, but if these words meet your eyes,
remember me in your prayers.
Or,
at least,
send me some light and love every time you think about me.
Love, love.
ps Erika - thanks for the encouragement already. You're sweet and wonderful.
Megan- I completely agree with you right now. While my school load and life situations are very different from yours right now I can relate. As I read your post I had playing the song Daughter of a King. Look up the lyrics/the song and listen to it. We can do it. Earlier in the semester I was reading a talk and it quoted President Hinckley saying "Regardless of your circumstances walk in faith." Remember that we can always get on our knees and pray. He never leaves you alone. Remember that it is ALREADY October. While the days seem to go slow sometimes, time goes fast and you will be looking back on this in just a short while. Good Luck. I love you.
ReplyDeleteLOVE LOVE LOVE. :) That's us sending you lots of love! We're here anytime you need anything, heaven knows you've been there for us loads of times. If you just want to come over and relax, or you need a study buddy or whatever, you've got my number, just give me a ring...when you're not strong, I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on (someone should write a song like that...) =)
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