Thursday, July 17, 2014

If only I could Tweet

That moment when you JUST get your newborn to sleep and then you take a big fat risk and fart....waking him up so you have to start the whole 40-minute process over again.

Axton was swimming in his kiddie pool - naked, because that's the only way he likes it. He looked down, pointed to his nipple and said, "Baby eat?" Not quite, kid. But pretty darn close.

I have always wanted to be one of those people at the gym who get shin-sweat. I feel like that is a really good indication that you're working hard, if your shins are actually sweating. What I have not always wanted to be is one of those people who get both shin-sweat and belly-sweat. Yep, that was me my first time at the gym in 6 weeks. Gotta love the post-pregnancy body.

Note to self: Rectal thermometer acts EXACTLY like an enema. WATCH OUT.

Axton just walked in on me changing - specifically, putting my bra on. He whispered a very breathy "Woooow."
Um, awkward? And really, do you have to be just like your Dad with everything?

So glad my mom bought Axton a giant green tube that magnifies his voice by 10 so he can yell, "NO DIAPER CHANGE!" at an even louder volume.

Axton hugging the iPad while spinning in circles like he's on the Sound of Music and singing, "Dada Games! Dada Games!" doesn't make me feel like the worst parent ever. Nope, it doesn't.

I must have been feeling ambitious this morning. Just had to ask Adam to help me take a shirt off that, nope, still doesn't fit, because I got stuck in it. Not feeling so ambitious anymore.

My son hasn't taken a bath in 3 days. He does, however, swim in his rain-water-filled kiddie pool everyday. That counts, right? (PS let's be honest, he hasn't brushed his teeth since then either. Parenting win).


  1. I love this. This is awesome. You are awesome.

  2. Ha ha ah ha I laughed so hard at this!!! You are amazing. I doubt that any mom has never done any of these things. Seriously sometimes I realize it's been close to a week since I've bathed them. It's hard. But they're alive. That's all they need. :)

  3. OMG Please make this a regular thing. Like keep a draft and just add to it and post when there are enough.

    I was laughing so hard my co-worker leaned over and asked what I was laughing about (It was the one where you were putting on your bra, but I read her the one below that instead)

  4. Love and feel you on those parenting moments!