I watch you sleep.

Dear Sweet Jonathan,

You are holding on to the last grips of life,

Your tiny body fighting against pain, swelling, sickness, and medication.

I watch you sleep -

Your eyes swollen shut, your bruised hands,
tubes weaving in and out,

and still I see that belly rise and fall, each breath a glimmer of hope.

But the truth is, Baby J,

YOU are hope.

YOU are love.

YOU are a pure soul, a quiet angel

swooping down from heaven to make us all catch our own breaths,

gasp at your presence,

your beauty

your life-lessons.

Make us stop in our tracks, gripping the hands of our loved ones,

begging us to behold one another.

You have brought us close,
surrounding you and one another with prayer and supplications to the

Mighty One Above.

You reminded me of what a true fast consists of,
something I had long forgotten.

You reminded me how to pray with every ounce of my heart,
a swift lesson I will not soon forsake again.

You reminded me of the importance of scriptures and the presence of the Holy Ghost.

You reminded me to stay close to my family -
for they truly are forever.

You reminded me that if I love being Aunty Meghan this much,

that I weep for a tiny boy
I have only met through the belly of my sister,

then I can't even fathom how much I will love being mommy.

You've done this and so much more for me and Uncle Adam,

and we are 5,000 miles away from you.

Your spirit is a special one, my dear.

Your mommy is so special, too, J.
And so is your daddy, and brother and sister.

But you already know that.

That's why you've been born into their fold.

I give you strength to carry on, to fulfill your mission:

whether it be in this life, or the next.

I watch you sleep.

And I whisper to you,

"You are loved, child."

*Baby Jonathan has been blessed and given a name, and was able to officially meet his older brother and sister for the first time last night. He is no longer responding to stimulation, and is severely brain damaged at this point. Noe says, "No matter what happens Jonathan has already done a great work in bringing our family and many others closer to each other and God. We are proud of him and all he has been able to accomplish. We have been so blessed with all of your love, support and prayers during this time of need. Please continue to keep Jonathan and our family in your thoughts and prayers."

Light and Love please

Jonathan Kunoa Dauphinee.

I only have one sibling - my older brother. He doesn't have any kids, so I had never been an aunt before I married Adam.

And then I discovered the joys of nieces and nephews.

And when Noelani got pregnant, it was the first pregnancy I was ever able to be a part of in such a meaningful way. She was my sister, and I watched her belly grow. We even lived with their family for 6 weeks while Noe was about 5 months along. I got to feel the baby kick --- my first time ever!

I went with her to the ultrasound where we found out -- it was a BOY! ---- my first time ever!

It was such a special experience seeing his little body on that black and white screen -

 a tiny bean of a boy sleeping soundly in the basketball that was Noe's belly.

I loved him then.

And I love him even more now.

My very first! nephew that I've witnessed from start (while...not exactly...you know what I mean) to out of the womb.

I started crying when I read JKD was just born! on our cell phone screen.

And then I read the next text:

"Now going to the NICU. Please pass the word."

and

"Please pray for Jonathan he is in critical care"

And immediately my heart was thrown in reverse. How could this be happening? He was just born. He was my new special nephew.

We soon found out Jonathan had contracted type B strep in the womb a few hours before being born. 

His respiratory system and circulatory system is failing, causing internal bleeding and swelling in both his brain and spinal fluid. This has also led to multiple seizures. The doctors do not know how long he will last, or if the swelling and bleeding will do permanent damage or not.

  We have been able to watch the little guy on a live web cam that the hospital has posted online - what a blessing it is to see him in such a desperate time. And sometimes, when the angle is just right and my internet fast enough, I can see him breathing. His little belly going up and down, and I pray it never stops.

Please. Keep this little button nosed cutie and his family in your thoughts and prayers.

 Just by reading this, you are thinking of him, and therefore sending light and love their way. Thank you.

They need all they can get.